9/11

I learned after 17 years that my mind can’t take the mourning or the barrage of pictures of the day. It impacts my mood, my happiness; it makes me sick.

I don’t sleep much on this day. I haven’t since 9/11/2001. This year I have a prescription of Ambien but it didn’t work. It’s floating in my belly somewhere, slowly dissolving. The Xanax hasn’t curbed my anxiety either.

I was close but not that close and yet watching video or seeing photographs of that day make me physically ill. This year, I filtered my social media settings and it helped a bit but let’s face it, it’s almost impossible to avoid it.

I am respectful of the day and how people choose to honor it, whether it be posting pre-9/11 photos the World Trade Center (as I have chosen to do in the past) or photographs or videos showing their destruction (which I do not.)

Sometimes those photos/videos include the office building I was in shortly before the first plane hit. It brings every second, every moment of that day back to me. For an hour or so, I didn’t know whether the building was destroyed or if any of my colleagues were injured or killed.

About Ray Onativia

Blogger, Photographer, Human.
This entry was posted in on my travels. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.